Freedom is Within You

Chapter 30.

My name is Emily. I am a 30 (soon to be 31) year old floating around through space–well, Silicon Valley, but it feels like space sometimes. Earlier this year, I had a nervous break down and didn’t even really recognize it–nor did anyone else I am sure. I think just as you get blinded by love you can also get blinded by stress and work and routine. You don’t even realize you are becoming a shell of a human until it takes a break down to feel anything–maybe that is modern survivalism. Whatever it is, it isn’t healthy and it isn’t fun.

But, this is isn’t about my breakdown because that would just be depressing and the last thing I would ever want felt about my situation is pity or concern. This is about the journey afterwards. This is about my every day battle with the anxieties of fitting into the modern world…because adulting is hard!

Anxiety can be crippling and claustrophobic, but it can also present itself as a transformative energy that can be used as a tool to revamp life into something powerful, creative, inspiring and meaningful. I am getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. I am getting more confident in the face of uncertainty and most importantly–I am learning self-love.

Growing requires diligence and daily self-discipline. And it is never easy, nor will it ever be over. Writing and sharing is a huge part of my growing process. I am finding a lot of freedom within myself by letting go. So here is where I will let go…